


simmer down and pucker up

by Florence930



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Kai POV, an old fic, ffn cross post, fluff with a pinch of angst, friends with benefits trope, kai pines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-22 23:36:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23002210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florence930/pseuds/Florence930
Summary: Feelings are hard.***((This was first published December 2018 on ffn))***
Relationships: Bonnie Bennett/Malachai "Kai" Parker
Comments: 9
Kudos: 88





	simmer down and pucker up

* * *

"Kai."

"Shhh."

They have an understanding.

It took some time, some distance, a lot of death threats, objects to the head (his head. Always), insults and coaxing. A lot of coaxing.

Bonnie reminds him of a lame cat, Mittens, he used to own as a child. It was always angry, hissing all the time, bite anything it would come in contact with but fragile, always in pain. Mittens was an asshole but he kinda loved her in his own way. She was broken like he was, a kindred spirit.

He killed her one day.

Accidental. Wrong place, shitty mood. Bad luck that Mittens just happened to be there and well...he hurled that unfortunate cat clear across his bedroom. He imagined throwing Jo in her place.

Kai can still remember the pained whine, a crack and then nothing.

He watches Bonnie, asleep with her hands tangled against his sheets and her wavy hair dragging across her face as she turns away from him. He stops her from doing so, his hand clasping the comforter she clings too.

He smiles when Bonnie stills, resuming her previous position, aligned with him. She mumbles something nonsensical, a furrow in her brow, a pucker on her cupids bow. Annoyed. His smile widens.

His eyes drag along her form, his thin sheet leaving little to the imagination, lingering on the stark dip of her hips, her full breasts before his gaze remained on her face. She looks feline in the moonlight.

She drifts closer to him, hands splayed, unconsciously reaching for him. He meets her halfway and he's so close he inhales her exhale.

They have an understanding; under the covers, at night or alone. Anywhere that didn't involve anyone else. Just Bonnie and Kai, in a world of their own, where she can laugh with him and hurt him in the same breath.

Unable to help himself, his hand travels the length of her. The motion is possessive but he reigns it in when she stirs, she frowns and blinks slowly before burying her face against his pillow.

It's stupid how beautiful she is.

"Kai?"

He swallows at the gravel edge to her voice, rough from use just a couple of hours ago.

His touch turns soothing. Comfort. It's something he's been practicing with her. "Shhh, sorry, go back to sleep."

She complies immediately as a puff of her warm breath meets his cheek.

He shifts closer, eyes resentfully shuttering in sudden fatigue but committing this to memory since she won't be here in the morning, she never is.

* * *

They keep up appearances. Her idea and he doesn't care as long as he has her.

He watches Bonnie as she leans against the wall, arms folded and nodding every now and then. Jo is next to her, bored out of her mind, his eyes glance to her for a moment. His heavily pregnant twin is only here cause her husband is, dragged here he assumes. He shares her sentiments. He's so bored.

His raises his eye brows and Jo tilts her head in question. He smiles in twin solidarity. She makes a big show of rubbing her eye with her middle finger. _Right._ Message received. Kai sighs, turning back to the scene.

Damon is going on about some spiel about Stefan and how everyone needs to band together and save him from himself. Kai never met the guy but apparently he's a ripper that is currently murdering his away across the country. Well, aint that just peachy.

Lily is also posing some problems, she's disappeared on them. Again. Kai has offered to kill her in the past but Damon still believes he can talk some sense into her. It's strangely sentimental but it's the forth time she left Mystic Falls. There hasn't been much noise on that front but give it time, he assumes. A ripper will always be a ripper. Kai sighs.

Like mother like son.

Fucking Heretics.

Fucking Salvatores.

He looks around the room, besides Jo and Bonnie, he doesn't care about anyone here.

Why was he here again?

A cough catches his attention, his eyes dart back to the pretty witch on the other side of the room.

Oh yeah, that's why.

Kai glares but his expression lightens when he notices her eyes glaze over, unseeing, reminding him of a time when he went on a (too long) tangent about the Lord of the Rings films and how awesome they all were.

Bonnie's expression dims further before she yawns, covertly covering it with her hand. He chuckles and Damon stops mid-sentence.

"Yes? Is there anything you'd like to add?"

Kai smirks, the audacity of this leech. He can melt the vampires skin off with a blink of an eye. Is there anything he'd like to fucking add.

"This whole thing is ridiculous," He shrugs. "Rinse and repeat," Kai toasts the room. "That's all this is. You all put this shit on yourselves every single time, seriously."

He directs his gaze to Damon, "your brother, your _mother_ , your problem. You can fix this yourself. This certainly isn't my problem so I'm out."

The vampire glowers and Bonnie gives him a questioning look.

Kai shrugs again, tempering the urge to whisk Bonnie out of the room. She'd kill him. He leaves the living room with his glass of whiskey. It's one in the afternoon and they all reduced him to this. A day drinker. It's pathetic.

Kai needs to get out of here. He takes the last swig and tosses the glass by the door while crossing the threshold.

"Kai?"

He heavily exhales. A reflex to her voice.

He turns around, brow raised. "Bonnie?"

Her lips rock to the side. She steps forward until she's in front of him, backing him up outside while closing the door after them. His back hits a nearby wall, between the door and a giant flower pot. Kai gulps when she clasps the lapels of his coat. It's gentle, she smooths down the creases.

"Am I seeing you later?"

As if she even has to ask. "Of course."

She looks up, gold specks in those green eyes. He forgets to breathe. Another reflex.

"You won't help us?" It's not necessarily a question but he answers anyway.

"Him," he reiterates firmly. "I won't help him."

"No?" Her hands stay, palms on his chest.

"He's the reason Lily's out, I warned him and he didn't care, the people she killed when she got out are on his hands and now she bolted to fuck knows whe-"

Her head lowered throughout his rant, her hands slowly drop.

Kai rolls his eyes. He grips both her wrists, holding her to him. Bonnie doesn't even flinch and it's still a novelty to him. That she trusts him to not siphon. He wouldn't anyway but it's flattering regardless.

"It's not your fault," she's already shaking her head. So predictable. "You didn't know what she was."

"I didn't ask-"

He scoffs, "you shouldn't have to? Isn't he your bestie? Besties don't lie to each other," he shrugs, "not that I would know but I've watched a lot of t.v. lately and trust is pretty damn important in friendships from what I've gathered." His head bows, seeking her gaze when she looks away. "Hey," he whispers.

She shakes her head, eyes closed. "I hated you and I wanted to hurt you so I didn't even think about the repercussions, the people she killed, your coven could have been..."

"We've been through this," Kai nods, eyes stern, "I forced your hand when I should have left you alone. I get it now, what you did was understandable, I deserved it, okay?"

If he said this to her three months ago, she would have maybe laughed, uncomfortably. Five months ago, she definitely would have laughed, snide and cavalier and in total agreement. Probably would have thrown him down a flight of stairs too for good measure (again).

Now? She actually grimaces. He recognizes that look because he feels it most days; Shame. He's not worth that so he tells her so.

"Shut up," she huffs.

"Okay," he nods, rubbing her wrists in a circular motion.

She pulls away and he tightens instinctual. After a moment he lets go. "I'll see you later."

"Are you helping him?"

Bonnie shrugs, "I gotta."

"Bonnie," he sighs.

"I really do, I have to."

He narrows his eyes, "no you don't? Again, not your fault and they're his family not yours."

"They're killing people, Kai."

It's the defeated tone that gets to him. Fuck. He looks up at the grey sky, jaw tight. He counts to ten. Inhale, exhale. "Fine."

"What?"

He tosses her a glance. "Two witches are better than one, right?"

She blinks, "I didn't come out here to convince you." His look turns skeptical and Bonnie glares, "I didn't," she scratches the back of her head, "you didn't say bye and I wasn't, wasn't sure if we were seeing each other tonight."

He smirks and waggles his eyebrows, "do want to _come_ with me now?"

She catches his drift and pushes his shoulder, playfully. He stumbles back a step and grins.

She looks back at the manor, "I'm getting some lunch with Elena."

Kai nods slowly, "gotcha, I'll see you tonight then."

Bonnie nods, hand on the door knob. She stills, turning to him in sudden earnest, "thank you," she breathes, "for helping, you don't have to. You don't owe us anything."

He knows he doesn't owe _them_ anything. If he's being truly honest, in the deepest pre-merge crevice of his mind, her so called 'friends' can die and go to hell for all he cares. He needs to make sure nothing happens to _her_. If something happened to her on their watch, if she dies again, for them. Gods help them all. He's pretty sure he'll kill them. Luke can only provide so much empathy and goodness. So for her friends sake, he has to help.

One day though, she'll need to let go of this martyr complex, seriously. It's wearing thin. He'll help her do so, coax her or force her. Anything that will get the desired results.

"Kai?" her voice hesitant.

He realized what his face must look like right now. His intense expression melts. "See you later." His fists clench in and out. He has this sudden urge to kiss her but Bonnie already has the door open.

She waves and smiles her goodbye, aware of the vamps in the manor. He sees a sliver of her pretty face before the door closes.

He stares at the door for a moment before he turns around and heads for his car.

* * *

Kai breathes in her scent, vanilla and spice. Earthy. Kinda reminds him of Christmas.

The rain pelts against the window, the sound mixes in with the t.v show they're watching.

"I like this," he announced after they binged the first season.

Bonnie smiled. "I knew you would, thought you could relate with the main character."

Seeing as the main character is a self-centered, narcissistic, alcoholic secret agent with mommy issues, he's not sure if he can agree that much.

Bonnie's bare leg straddles his hip while using his shoulder as a pillow. Her finger caresses his torso, up and down. His stomach muscles flex against it.

"Kai?" Her voice is soft and he hums. "Why did you do it?"

"Do what?" he mouths against her cheek before planting a kiss.

"Save me," her voice ever softer.

Kai freezes his action, his head raises to stare her down.

Bonnie shifts under him while she shrugs. "We never really talked about it but maybe we shouldn't, maybe it's too weird?" She clears her throat, "forget I said anything."

Kai directs his attentions to her collar bones peeking out under his t-shirt.

He doesn't want to scare her, to let her know how deep his feelings lie. That even then, he felt _something_ , an attraction that avalanche into an intense obsession when the merge occurred. It happened so fucking fast. It's not normal. He's crazy obsessed with her. He'll literally go insane if something happens to her.

However, not many women want to hear those kind of declarations though.

They have an understanding and this isn't apart of it.

But maybe Bonnie already had an inkling. She's a smart girl and he's not exactly the king of subtle.

Just in case, best to keep it light and neutral.

So he's silent for a moment, trying to pick the right words to say. Bonnie read him wrong though, "yeah, no. Forget I asked."

His brows furrow, "I felt...bad about what I did to you at the my, you know," he watches her chest, slowly expand. In and out. "I wanted to make amends, saving your life seemed like a pretty good start." Stupid but he lets out a weak, humorlessly chuckle. "I mean, I," Shit, it's that ever present guilt. "Left you there and it only seemed fair to get you out."

His eyes meet hers and he's pretty sure he said something wrong. Her face is impassive, almost empty.

Take two but keep it light.

He played with the ends of her shirt. "When we were stuck in the prison world, even when I was a sociopath, I held an appreciation for you," he vaguely gestured towards her, "who wouldn't?" He blinks, lifting up her shirt. She lets him. He eyes the puckered scar below her breast. He can feel her eyes on him. "Guess it's hard to comprehend that but I did." He lets go of the shirt, watching it drape over her. "It would be a pretty shitty world if you weren't in it, Luke's feelings brought that to light, sure but I guess I kinda knew that in a way before the merge that you were..." S _pecial_. He rolls his eyes, frustrated with himself. "Again, it's hard to explain..."

Shit answer but he hoped Bonnie preferred this one.

Apparently she did when she pulled him to her, clasping the back of his neck.

Feelings and emotional intimacy, it's still something he's trying to get a hang of.

He's not good at it. It's awkward.

But this.

Bonnie gasps, tightening her hold, nails digging into his shoulders.

He pushes the baggy shirt up again and kisses along her toned stomach, reveling in her little moans. He moves lower, all the while watching her. He moves her lace aside and breathes her in, tastes her.

"Kai!"

She bites her bottom lip, eyes screwed shut as she arches off the bed.

He's good at this.

* * *

Kai jumps when a stack of books land in front of him.

He eyes them curiously while Bonnie sits across from him.

She smirks, "did I scare you?"

He pushes the books aside so he can see her. He glances down at his watch, "aren't you suppose to be in college right now?"

She drums her finger nails along the table. "My lecture is going through some existential crisis or a break down, she left class after thirty minutes chanting, 'time is a myth and follow your path or something."

"Groovy," Kai picks up one of the books and examines it.

"That was my only afternoon class." She shrugs, "thought I'd visit the book store."

"That you did," he muttered as he sift through the classics.

"They were a dollar each, I couldn't resist."

He picked up a copy of Frankenstein, he shakes it. "Mind if I borrow?"

Bonnie snorts at his choice before reaching over to pinch a fry. "Sure." She chews slowly while Kai is reading the first page. Taking another handful of fries, she clears her throat, "aren't you going to ask how I found you?"

He shrugs. "Probably just going to take another pot shot at my age," he says absently as he turns the page, "that I'm an old man stuck in my ways and routine."

Kai found this diner a couple weeks ago. It was clean, quiet so can survey his list of coven leader duties while being a thousand miles away and all the while eating the best burger he's ever tasted. So you'd have to pry this diner from his cold, dead hands.

Kai looks up when Bonnie remains silent. He tilts his head, "you okay?"

She blinks, tucking a strand behind her ear. "It's just," she exhales a laugh, "that's exactly what I was going to say." She picks up a fry and delicately takes a bite. Musing, "do you think we're spending too much time together?"

He's not sure if she's serious or not but fear suddenly grips him. He tightens his hold on the book. "Not so much time, no." He puts the book down, afraid he'll crumble it. "Why? Do you?"

She places her elbows on the table and leans forward. "Caroline is beginning to suspect that we hang out a lot. _A lot_."

And? Is what he wants to say but all he does is nod slowly.

"She said it's kinda strange, considering our history."

He folds his arms, nails digging into his forearm. "Didn't she fuck that original that nearly killed her?"

Her eyes widen. "I told you that in confidence," she hissed. She sits back against the plump leather. "But yeah."

"Do you like hanging out with me?" That five second pause nearly gutted him but she nodded. He almost sighed in relief. "The only person that matters here in this situation is you so fuck all that other noise. Okay?"

Fluttering eyelashes and surprised expression, she nods. She releases a chuckle, "'fuck all that noise,' where did you learn that?"

Kai nods solemnly. "The streets."

Her shoulders shake, "the streets?" She grins slowly. Kai smiles back. A reflex. "Okay." She looks over his empty plate, "are you finished your meal?" He nods, "would you mind driving me home? My car's in repair so I took the bus to college."

"You took the bus here too?" Kai fishes for his wallet.

She gives him a bored look. "I can walk a mile."

He pulls some cash out, leaving it by his plate. Is her university only a mile away? Is that another reason why he picked this diner, although unconsciously.

They step out of the booth. Bonnie starts shoving her books in her bag as they step outside. When they start to spill out she hands the others to him, wordlessly.

"You can stay over at my house if you want?" She looks over at him, buckling her seat belt. "Dad's on a business trip and I think the forth season of Archer is out."

Kai almost laughs at how domestic that sounded. He turns the ignition on while tossing her a smile. "Sure."

* * *

Kai gapes, watching her under the night sky, the stars her backdrop.

Her arms are in the air, stretched out as she chants.

He recognizes the spell. A slow smile envelops his face.

The canopy of trees sway along with her movements, like a dance.

The ground lights up beneath them, the grass like golden wheat. He remains sitting though, cross legged and content, his head resting against his palm.

The spell is harmless, a connection to mother nature. To derive natural power from the earth and the ancestors that once walked here.

The wind picks up, her hair whipping in all directions. Kai kinda wished he brought some popcorn with him. It's a damn good show.

Her eyes are closed and Kai drinks her in, her abandoness, the small smile donning her lips. It's beautiful.

His hands sift through the grass, he clenches the dirt under his fingertips. He closes his eyes and channels her.

He sharply inhales, there are some moments when he forget just how much power her petite body carries. It's intoxicating.

His eyes slowly open to see her take a deep breath before her arms fall, her head tilts back as she lets out a heavy exhale.

She turns around and walks towards him, he gazes up as she unceremoniously plops to the floor. She grins, brushing her hair back. "That was fun."

Kai nods, "you should do this every full moon," he flicks at a pebble, "it's at its most potent then."

Bonnie clears her throat, she kneels demurely in front of him. "Is it suppose to feel like some sort of...mild orgasm?"

He smirks, "you're not doing it right if it doesn't."

Bonnie smiles, biting her lip as she looks away. She nods, gazing back, "thanks for telling me about this by the way."

He absently plays with the frilly ends of her long skirt. "Don't take this the wrong way but I'm surprised you didn't know about this, I'm mean, all this power right at your door step. It's like crack for witches but without the negative affects."

Her expression dims as she shrugs, "Couple years ago I wouldn't have admitted this but," she sighs, "I have a lot of fire power," Kai nods in agreement, "and it's thanks to my lineage that I have all," her fingers unwind, she looks down, "this magic but I only learn spells if I need to save someone or this town or, " she raises an eyebrow, pointedly, "when we fuck up," he smiles, knowing she means the asinine crew but he keeps mum. "I know all these big spells but I don't know the basics," she shrugs, "that's probably why I feel drained a lot of the time. I don't practice as much as I should but you..." She gestures at him, He raises an eyebrow, "you're book smart," he tilts his head, "you're such a freakin nerd." He chuckles, "you're fluent in Latin."

His lips purse, "any self respecting witch would be." He grins when a clump of grass meets his face. He brushes the grass aside. "I have nearly two decades on you, which I spent the majority of it reading and traveling." He looks away, brows furrow, "all that time by yourself, you gotta keep your mind sharp. Had to make sure I didn't end up crazier." His eyes shut for a moment, afraid he's hashing up painful memories for her...and himself.

However, he gazes back to find her looking up at the night sky.

She rest back on her palms, her legs crossed at the ankles, "all the same, I have been practicing a lot lately and not because of some impending doom or disaster I need to prepare for but," she shrugs, "just because," she smiles, lips pursing, "it's a nice feeling." Bonnie cranes her head, "I think I got that from you."

Their eyes meet. Kai exhales, knowing that he's one lucky bastard to be privy to this. He knows he doesn't deserve her confidence but fuck, he wants it and he's glad he has it.

Her smile widens a fraction before she's staring back up at the sky.

Unable to help himself, Kai scoots closer until their shoulders touch. "You should start hanging out with more witches, Bon."

"Yeah," she whispers, a shooting star darts across the sky. Resting her head against his shoulder, she nods, "yeah."

* * *

"Who was your teenage celebrity crush?"

"Farrah Fawcett." He shoves a handful of Doritos in his mouth.

"Typical." Bonnie grabs a handful of chips from the bag, "of course it was."

He coughs. "Alright judgy," he picks the chip bag off Bonnie's lap, "who was yours?"

"Orlando Bloom," her tone playfully dreamlike. She sighed wistfully.

His eyes narrow in thought. "Who?" His expression cleared when Bonnie enacted using a bow. "oh wait, the elf?"

"Yes, the elf but I'm mostly thinking Pirates of the Caribbean."

"...Do you want to watch Lord of the Rings?"

"No."

He pouts.

"Okay, who's your celebrity crush now?"

Kai tilts his head, her legs draped over his. The cotton of her pajamas dragging along his denim as she shuffles closer. Her shirt is huge, practically dangling off her. He was getting a little distracted as his eyes drifted along her bare shoulder.

"Kai."

"I don't have one," he says quickly.

"Everyone has one," she says casually, grabbing a cushion and putting it behind her head, "celebrities and models are like the unicorns of people, everyone has a crush on someone famous, that's like the law."

His eyes squint, tilting his head to the side, "I don't think that's acc-" Bonnie sits up slightly, her socked feet now resting near his thighs, "uh-"

"Okay," Bonnie says with a seriousness that isn't deserved in this situation. "Okay, the last person that you saw that you were like 'damn that's a straight up hottie' Go." He gives her an deadpan look, brows raised. The answer very apparent. It was obvious she was trying not smile when she caught on, biting her bottom lip, reigning it in. Looking all the more appealing. She rolls her eyes, "I mean someone famous."

He sighs dramatically as he leans back in thought. He blinks. Mind totally blank. Wow. Okay _think_ , there has to be someone since it's the law according to Bonnie. He sifts through the movies and t.v shows he's recently seen and nope, he's stumped.

His eyes dart to Bonnie when she starts tugging a pillow from behind his back. Okay, rude, he was using it. He sits up anyway, letting her snag it. She smiles smugly, placing it near her side.

...And he gets it, of course there other women that are attractive. Obviously. He has eyes. It's just he's not necessarily attracted to them, per se. Yes, he has an intense fixation on Bonnie but did, did she actually ruin other women for him? He eyes her resentfully as she starts flicking through the channels.

He gives a throw away answer, a name he at least remembers. "Jessica Albus." Wait, no, "Alba? Albay?"

She puts the remote down, "took you long enough, I thought you fell asleep." She gives him a pointed look, "It's Alba."

He nods. "Straight up hottie, her." He grabs another chip from the bag and chews loudly. "Okay, who's yours?"

"Tom Hardy."

"You said that really fast."

"And Idris Elba."

"Oh wow, two?"

She taps her chin. "Chris Hemsworth, I guess."

"Three? Well, that's just swell." She opens her mouth again but he gruffly cuts her off, "alright. I get it." He hoards the chips over to his side. She's not getting anymore.

She scoffs, nestling back to her side of the couch. He can see her in his periphery, watching him. His eyes stayed glued to the television. However, he shifts when her foot slowly moves across his lap. His mouth goes dry. Goddamn reflex. He gulps. "Can't you see I'm watching?" He stills her, a hand on her shin.

"It's a commercial about cat litter."

He shrugs, his fingers tapping her leg. "Don't care, I'm engrossed."

They're silent for another minute.

Then he hears a sigh. He turns to her in question. She's looking at him in exasperation. "Do you really need your ego stroked?" He only watches her silently. She tucks a strand behind her ear. "You're really hot, okay?" she says with an eye roll.

A pleased smirk slowly envelops as his hand rests on her knee, squeezing a little. He leans towards her. "Straight up?" She chucks a pillow at him.

He laughs, catching it and tucking it under his arm. "Thanks."

As whatever program was on, resumed, they were constantly glancing at one another throughout. When their eyes meet, Kai hands over the bag of Doritos, grinning innocently. Bonnie took it, shaking her head with a smile. "So stupid," she quietly mutters.

He smirks, slumping against the couch. He can't disagree with that.

* * *

The light flickers around them, casting them in shadows.

"We're going to get caught and it's going to be mortif-" she gasps out, biting her bottom lip.

Kai leans forward and bites it for her. His hand drifts up up her breasts until they settle on her neck. The leg that's wrapped around his hips tightens as he slowly thrusts, trying to maintain a steady speed, still aware of where they are.

There's a Gala happening downstairs, it's pretentious and snazzy. What you can usually expect from the elite and they crashed it. Bonnie was itching for something reckless and Kai happily obliged. They sneaked in from the back of the building and nobody was none the wiser.

It helped that they looked amazing. Like they belong here. He looks great in a tux and Bonnie a vision in a strappy red, floor length ensemble.

They were bored though (rich people are so dull), it was disappointing so they decided to explore the estate. Their adventures led them to one of the bedrooms, the closet and now here they are. His trousers down his legs and Bonnie's dress rolled up her waist. It's a clumsy sight especially with their hushed laughter and rearranging so they're both comfortable.

"Not if you're not quiet," he mouths, lips touching hers.

She scowls. It loses it's edge when Kai hits a particular spot, she let's out a breathless laugh.

"I love you," he says before he could swallow the words down. Those three words are always on the tip of his tongue lately. Wearing him down like a vice.

With the way her eyes flutter, it's obvious she heard him.

He could bullshit and say it was accidental. That he's tipsy off chardonnay. That he didn't mean it. But he's never been much of a bullshitter.

He feels lighter, high in her presence.

"I lov-"

"No," she snaps. She places a hand over his mouth. "I don't want to hear it," she says in a panic, shaking her head. "That's not what we are."

He blinks.

_That's not what they are._

Well, fuck.

"Kai," her eyes widen. Kai's cheeks burn in embarrassment. She looks down. "I don't know how..."

He bites the inside of his cheek. The hand around her neck tightens and for a moment he imagines it. Choking her, siphoning her, draining her life and magic from her body. Watching the light leave those bright green eyes.

For a second he feels vindicated.

And it disgusts him. It makes him nauseous. His grip slackens.

He still wants her though, of course he does. His dick is hard regardless of rejection from the woman he loves. It's commendable, really.

"Kai, we should talk about this," He swallows and glances away. The hand on his mouth moves to his cheek, directing his gaze back to her. Her gaze is soft, too soft. It's cruel. Something stirs then breaks in his chest. Fuck, is he about to cry?

Biting his lip, he quickly pulls out of her, ignoring her quiet gasp, before turning her around. He pushes her up against the wall. This time he pulls down her underwear, yanks it down and she obliges, kicking the fabric away.

She turns slightly, looking back at him in clouded confusion. "Kai..."

He darts away so she can't see him. He quickly swipes his eyes. "Shh, remember we're in someones closet." He breathes heavily, his fingers seeking out her clit, "don't wanna get caught." Bonnie groans as she leans her head back against his shoulder. With the minimum space he's given her, she grinds against his hand.

Her arousal, vanilla and spice. It becomes too overwhelming, he's swimming in it. He lifts her left leg on the vanity drawer. He bends her over slightly, hand on her hip as he pushes inside her once more.

There curses mingle together.

She balances forward, resting her forearms on the wall. "Fuck."

His hand squeezes her waist in warning as her moans get louder, the quicker he thrusts. His eyes shut, the hand on her clit rubbing faster.

He's so stupid, thinking they were something more. He stabbed her and she stabbed him. He abandoned her. He siphoned her and she abandoned him. They're so messed up, fucking each other while they fucked each other up.

She's still never there when he wakes up.

He should have left town as soon as he caught a whiff of feelings for her. Sure, he'd pine and wonder what could have been if he stayed but that would have been better. He would have gotten over her. Eventually.

His arm weaves around her stomach, bringing her closer, her back presses against his torso. Her breath stutters.

This? Well, he can't get over this.

He knows what it's like now; sleeping next to her, being inside her, knowing the ways to make her laugh and smile, her favorite movies, how she weirdly hates tomatoes but likes ketchup. How the hell is meant to get over that?

He realizes his thoughts have aligned with his movements, hard and jagged. Punishing. She reaches behind her, gripping his ass as she bounces on him. He rests his forehead on her shoulder, his breath quickens. That coiling, the needling heat winding down his pelvis. Overwhelming. Her scent. Her nails digging into his skin.

A light bulb breaks nearby, submerging them in the dark.

His hand grips her breast harshly as he comes. He realizes a moment later that she did as well as she slumps against him.

He barks out a tired sneer. Synchronized orgasms. Well, aren't they so fucking perfect.

Her mouth seeks out his, it's slow and unhurried, just tasting one another.

He plants a kiss on her shoulder blades when they pull away, he closes his eyes. She hums, content.

He sighs.

He should have left when he had the chance.

* * *

Kai visibly shutters when Damon pats him on the back. "Ew." He moves away.

Damon folds his arms. "Alright douche, just trying to say thanks"

"No thanks needed," Kai throws the vampire a blasé look, "just keep your baby brother on a leash or I'm putting him down if he does this again."

Kai internally cringed when he recalled the younger Salvatore chomp down on his arm like a fucking pit bull. It was in retaliation for an aneurysm Kai gave him because he felt like it. Kai was so close to boiling Stefan's brain when Bonnie appeared and intervened, knocking Stefan out cold.

The ripper is currently in the cellar downstairs, passed out (courtesy of Bonnie) and in magical chains (courtesy of Kai).

Bonnie. Kai gulps. He's been trying to avoid her. It hasn't been going well (he only lasted one measly day) since he actively seeks her out. All the time. Strangely, Bonnie is also doing the same. It's like he never said the 'L' word or Bonnie never shut him down. It never happened, a clean slate. And Kai is thrilled, _thrilled,_ because screw feelings. Sure, Bonnie doesn't want him in the same capacity that he wants her...but, silver lining, he gets to _fuck_ Bonnie Bennett. That's a huge plus, he'll take that.

Fuck feelings, honestly.

Damon straightens up, "are you threatening us?"

Kai's frowned in confusion. He forgot what he just said to the vamp. Thoughts wrapped around Bonni-nope...his hot booty call. Fuck love. "What?"

Damon glared, uttering slowly, "are you threatening us? Cause I _really_ wouldn't recommend that."

Kai's eyes widen. Did this vampire just forget what transpired the last two days? All Kai, all Bonnie. The tracking, the maiming, that stupid bar brawl that resulted in seven decapitated vampires...Stefan biting his arm? Cause he's still pissed about that. Kai actually admires Damon, to be so useless yet believe they play a crucial role, a leader of sorts. That's a special level of delusion, "are you threatening me right now?"

Damon rolls his eyes and sighs, "Stefan is a good guy."

"Sure," Kai smiles blandly. "When he's not tearing people's body parts to shreds."

Damon's eyes narrow, "oh, like you're one to talk."

Kai chuckles darkly, a slow shake of his head, "do you really wanna go there?"

Damon looks up at the sky and frowns, "no. I really don't." He glances down again, exasperated. "Can't we just be civil?"

Kai nods, backing away, "oh we can be civil. I just can't fucking stand you." He turns around and walks towards his car, "but I'll play nice," he shrugs, "for the greater good."

He can practically feel Damon's eye roll, "well that's something..."

"I'll tell you something though," Kai spins around, "although your brother's a ripper, he really lucked out in the genetic lottery cause," his lips pursed, gesturing towards Damon, "yikes." He turns around, suddenly craving coffee and a nap and Bonnie. Not exactly in that order.

He hears Damon scoff as he opens his car door. He glances back in time to see Damon sauntering back inside the Manor.

A feminine figure walks up the driveway then, his heart speeds up when he instantly recognizes her. He closes the car door, deciding to lean against it, hands in his coat pockets.

Bonnie stutters a little in her steps when she sees him but she beams, eyes on him. Kai fidgets, fighting to urge to meet her half way. Wanting to appear even minutely casual. She wraps herself in her plaid jacket as she walks over to him.

"Hey," she smiles.

"You walked?" He could have picked her up if he knew she was coming here.

"Damon said he'd drop me off home."

"But you walked _here_?" He says, perplexed.

Kai knows what that means. Her piece of shit car in repairs again, she's strangely sentimental about that death trap.

"I don't mind the walk," she says in amusement, before he could argue the point further because it's three miles from town, Bonnie cuts in, "you're leaving?"

Kai nods, "I'm going to go sleep for about twenty hours." The last two days were annoyingly exhausting. He's never doing that again.

Bonnie shivers, her chin shaking as she nods. "Same, I'm just going to check on Stefan," she raises an eyebrow, "see if those manacles are holding up."

"Oh, you're questioning my skills?" He pushes himself off the door. "Thought I was the nerd?" He swallows when Bonnie just smiles at him, pretty and fatigued. Her dark hair caressing her cheeks. Kai looks away from the sight. "There wouldn't be any point, seeing him. He's still out."

She takes another step towards, "We make a good team." He hesitantly glances back. Bonnie is directly in front of him. Why does she have to be so pretty, that's just not playing fair.

They do, frustratingly make a good team. They balance each other out. Bonnie's all gung-ho with her magic and Kai's a planner. He stews, she strikes. He doesn't acknowledge her statement though. What would be the point, to humor one another? "Lily is still around the place."

"We'll get her though."

"You sound confident."

She nods. "I am." She's still shivering.

Unthinkingly, he wraps his arms around her. He engulfs her in his heavy, black jacket. His runs his hands up and down her back. He tsks, "would it kill you to wear more layers?"

He notices how still she is. He rolls his eyes, of course, they're in public. Disappointment bleeds through him. He drops his arms but surprisingly, she hugs him around his middle. His eyes widen in surprise.

"The forecast cast said it was going to be nice," her voice is muffled in the wool.

"It's November." He slowly wraps himself around her again.

She just shrugs.

They stay like this for some time. If her grip didn't tighten every now and then, he would have presumed she fell asleep. He hears her inhale him as she clings to his coat. Heat simmers in his chest at that. His head drops a little, resting his cheek on the top of her head, her hair tickles his nose. He sighs. She's so small.

As content as Kai is, having her in his arms, he pulls away. He bites the inside of his cheek and looks past her shoulder, suddenly sensing another presence. He frowns when he makes eye contact with Damon. "I'll let you get inside."

Bonnie follows his line of sight, she turns around. She waves, a baffled Damon waves back. She turns back, "huh."

"What?" Kai notices Damon still loitering by the open door. When Bonnie looks away for a moment in contemplation, Kai mouths 'fuck off,' Damon glares but does what he says, surprisingly. He slams the door after him.

"You say Stefan is still out cold, right?"

He nods, pride seeps into his tone, "you sure packed a wallop." Her gaze shrewdly dances along his face then, like she's trying to find something within him. What that something is, he's not sure. "You okay, Bon?"

Her expression clears, she tilts her head towards his car. "Do you want to grab some coffee?"

He smirks. "You read my mind." His smile drops, eyeing suspiciously, "did you read my mind?" He wouldn't put it past her.

She only laughs which doesn't ease his worries. She walks over to the passenger door, "there's this really nice café in town, they make great coffee."

"I'm in," he taps the roof of the car, "you had me at coffee." Inside, Kai turns on the ignition, turning the heat on full blast for her. "But didn't you want to go inside the Manor for a bit?" He only says that out of politeness, he's already about to pull out of the driveway in haste.

She shrugs, "it's only Damon inside."

Her tone is so un-bothered, Kai desperately wants to kiss her. He does. He leans over the stick shift and Bonnie read his intentions instantly. Their lips meld together, his hand sought out her smooth cheek, bringing her closer to him. Her hands reach up, combing through his hair, scratching his scalp. A shiver runs up his spine. His tongue brushes along her bottom lip and Bonnie almost leaps forward but with her hands in his hair, she loses balance, toppling over.

They break away and Kai chuckles, breathless, holding her from crashing into his chest. He brushes the hair from her eyes, "well...someone's keen, ah-" He flinches when Bonnie slaps his shoulder.

They share a covert, silly smile when Bonnie sits back in her seat. She straightens up her jacket and clears her throat, "shall we get some coffee now?"

Kai doesn't acknowledge the break in her voice as he nods.

**-0-O-0-**

"So," Bonnie wrings her hands before grasping the handle of her cup. "I've been meaning to talk to you about happened at the Gala," she sighs, "but I admit I haven't been ready to say anything."

Kai takes a sip of his coffee, nodding stiffly. Heat envelops his neck and cheeks in stark and embarrassing recollection of that night. "It's fine, forget I said anything."

"You told me you loved me," she said quietly, looking down at her cup.

Kai cringed, "forget I said that?"

Well, his ole 'fuck feelings' mantra really shot to shit the moment she looked at him. Then, outside the manor and now, she's glaring at him. Kai can almost feel the heat with the anger she's directing at him.

"Forget you said that?" she says slowly.

 _Why_ does she look so offended right now?

Her sudden annoyance rises something within him. Before he can swallow it down, he says coldly, "I'm giving you an out Bonnie, you can take it."

Kai mourns the kiss they shared in his car, it was only twenty minutes ago for fuck sake.

Her eyes light up, "I'm not a coward."

"That's not what I'm saying," he rubs his forehead, "however..."

"However?" her tone is monotonous.

She stares him down. He fights the urge to look away. Instead he leans forward, resting his forearms on the table. "'That's not what we are?'" he shrugs, "after two months of practically being joined to the hip, that's what you have to say?"

"I had some reservations," she blinks, hands tightening her cup. "About us."

"Got it," Kai nodded, knowing and hurt. "Now shall we go back to pretending I didn't say I love you? Cause that works for me."

"Stop," she says sternly.

Kai's gaze darts away, he takes in the café instead; the numbing chatter, the cream walls, the sound of the blender in the background, the appealing smell of coffee beans. Anything to distract him from that festering sensation he felt his whole life; that he wasn't good enough, that he'll never be good enough. And fuck, they're all right. He's not good enough for Bonnie, he _knows_ that already. But can't he just be with her anyway?

There's no such thing as an equal partnership. That's bullshit. There's always one person better than the other and Bonnie's the better.

He internally scoffs, he's not even in a relationship with her, all these useless hypotheticals.

Kai feels sudden heat enclose his forearm, he looks down to find her hand settled there. He looks up in shock. It's the same look she gave him at the Gala, sweet sympathy. It irks him a little.

"Stop overthinking," she points to his head, "the wheels are turning." His brows furrow as he watches her thumb caress his wrist. He assumes that's a good sign. "I do want you." He's pretty sure that's a good sign.

He gapes, watching her release a shuttering breath. "When Damon saw us, I didn't care." She shrugged, "at all." Her nails taps along the metal paneling of the table. "Caroline asked about it again and I didn't deny it. And it was fine...for the most part. Elena confronted me about us the other day and I didn't care."

"So," Kai asked hesitantly, "about us, about anybody knowing, you don't...ca-"

"Give a shit, yeah," she takes a sip of her coffee.

Okay, wow. He sits there in stunned silence, it was like watching a dam break.

She puts her cup down, she raises an eyebrow, "do you have anything to say?"

He glances down at her hand again, a smile threatening his lips. "I love you," he mutters.

Her hand tightens around his wrist for a moment, "I think I love you too," her voice is so quiet, he almost didn't hear it. He leans into the table, the edge digging into his stomach. "I was freaked out when you told me at first," her voice louder, firmer. "But I was more freaked because I was actually happy when you told me? And I felt like I shouldn't be? That it was wrong to."

Kai nodded slowly, holding his breath, afraid she was backtracking. Talking herself into not being with him. Waiting for the inevitable.

But she smiled, "I'm going to take my own advice and not overthink and just go with it." He feels elated, giddy. He takes her hand and kisses her palm. She really does have nice palms. Her smile softens before saying, "I know you won't but just in case you do hurt me, physically or emotionally, I will fry your balls off."

Well that's a mental picture. He wouldn't, hurting her is never an option. But he nods anyway, turning her hand around, pressing a kiss on her knuckles. "Understood."

* * *

He rains kisses along her face, the sun peeking through the blinds, creating shadows along her skin. He traces them with his finger tips.

"Kai," she groans, pushing his face away while shifting towards the end of the bed. She's definitely not a morning person. Cute.

"You have class, Bon." She turns to give him a dirty look. He beams, holding out a cup of coffee.

She eyes it for a moment and sighs, she pushes herself up and takes the cup resentfully. "Remind me not to pick an elective that starts at eight on a Friday. It's not worth it."

"Sure thing," Kai sits beside her. He leans against the plush pillows, his hand drifting up and down her spine. She shivers, drinking her coffee. He gulps, "Bonnie?"

"Hmm?" She settles next to him.

"Why did you actually give me the time of day all those months ago?"

He was always afraid to ask this, he didn't want to disturb the precarious equilibrium they created for themselves.

He recalls the first time he kissed her, it was during a row. She put herself in a life threatening position and it fucked him right off. She called him names, told him to mind his own business. He called her names, told her she needed to get over herself. Then he kissed her, pouring all his frustration and fear into it. He expected a slap or an aneurysm but she ended up kissing him back, to both their shock.

Then they just fell into it, whatever they had.

Bonnie yawned, "sorry?"

Kai shrugged, "never mind." She gave him a pointed look so he hesitantly repeated his question.

She sat for a ponderous moment. "You were so pissed off with me, you were livid."

"You did run head first into a pack of werewolves though," he says with a wane smile.

"I was looking for Tyler," she brushes off dismissively. He frowns. "Anyway, while you were screaming at me," she let out another yawn, "it made me realize something, you consistently had my back even when I pushed you away, even when I convinced myself I didn't need it." She turned to look up at him, "you were always there, annoying yet protective."

"Your hot, guardian angel," he muses.

Bonnie grumbles into her coffee.

"You're mine too, though."

She rolls her eyes, "so anyway. Although I knew you were on our side, I still kinda hated you on principal. But as time went on I hated you a little less, and that night..." she shrugs, "the adrenaline of almost dying and you," she turns towards him, arm resting against the headboard. "That's actually the first time I didn't want to set you on fire."

He smirks, completely smitten, "that's sweet."

Bonnie exhales a breath, shaking her head, "yeah."

The alarm went off.

She craned her head back, closing her eyes and placing her coffee on the night stand. "Urgh." She opens one eye, "this is going to sound lame but I'm going to start some Christmas shopping after class, wanna come with?"

He nods, wordlessly. His throat suddenly dry. These damn feelings, how the hell is _this_ making him emotional?

Her face softens at his expression, placing a warm palm on his cheek. He gulps loudly. Bonnie playfully rolls her eyes, tapping him once on the cheek and scooting away. "I'm going to get ready," she jumps out of bed, heading out the room, "going to take a _shower_."

He only nods, in a slight daze, watching her go. He's about to drink the rest of her cup when Bonnie comes back. Her pretty face, peeking past the door frame. He assumes Bonnie is trying to give him her best _'come hither'_ face but since it's Bonnie it translates more to _'come over here right now!'_ face.

He grins, he's so fucking smitten. He gets up swiftly and follows her out the room, coffee forgotten.

* * *


End file.
